Identifying Anger Problems

If you want to change abusive behaviors, first you have to identify what behaviors are abusive.  If you respond “yes” to the questions below, you should follow the links below to talk to a professional and assess if you have a more serious problem or are engaging in abusive behavior.  Seeing a professional is the best way for you to understand your behavior, work to change abusive behaviors, and stop the cycle of abuse.

Signs of abusive behavior can include the following.  If you…
__ Out or threaten to out your partner without their permission
__ Refuse to use the appropriate pronoun or name when referring to your partner
__ Refuse to allow your partner to be connected to the LGBT community
__ Criticize your partner for not being man enough, woman enough, or gay enough
__ Physically or sexually touch your partner when they do not want to be touched
__ Blame your partner for your moods/anger
__ Blame your partner for your problems
__ Call your partner names or criticize them
__ Ignores your partner or your partner’s feelings
__ Call your partner repeatedly to check in
__ Act jealous when your partner talks to other people
__ Isolate your partner from friends, family, support resources, or LGBT community
__ Physically hurt your partner or threaten to hurt your partner
__ Break your partner’s things
__ Hurt or threaten to hurt pets or children, if they are present
__ Violate your partner’s boundaries, read their emails, mail, or listen to their phone calls
__ Cheat on your partner or break their trust
__ Have more power in the relationship

If you recognize that you have these abusive tendencies or behaviors you can seek more information or services at the locations listed below.  A trained professional may be able to help you if you wish to change or modify your behavior.  If you are abusive, you typically should not seek therapy services with your partner, but seek services to work on your own issues.

Resources for Abusers

Select your county and then choose a specialist in anger management, domestic abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, or teen violence.